All you need to know about who should get a plus one

There’s a whole set of wedding etiquette rules you need to learn when you start to plan your wedding day. Your guest list is no exception. After you’ve decided who to invite to your big day you’ll have to decide which of your guests will be attending solo and which ones will get to bring a plus-one.

First, let’s talk about the word etiquette. Simply put, etiquette means polite behavior. It’s a code of conduct put in place to make guests feel comfortable. Yes the day is about you, but wedding etiquette exists to make the event enjoyable for you and your loved ones attending to watch you tie the knot.

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Plus-ones can be a point of contention between brides and grooms and their guests. Extra guests cost money and you don’t want anyone you don’t know—or like—at your wedding. On the other hand, it can feel like a snub to be denied a guest. When you start to compile your guest list and send out wedding invitations there are certain people who should always get a plus-one, and others who you can skip without it being a faux pas.

Definitely Receive A Plus-One

Married Couples
You should always extend the invitation to your guests’ spouse, even if you aren't close with them. There is little to no wiggle room when it comes to this one. You wouldn’t want to go to a wedding reception without your spouse!

Members of the Wedding Party
Even if they don’t take you up on bringing a guest it’s considered good decorum to let the bridesmaids and groomsmen bring a guest. Think of all they have done for you (and all the money they’ve spent) over the course of the wedding planning. Being a bridesmaid and groomsmen isn’t easy (or cheap)! Bridesmaids and groomsmen are VIPs and letting them bring a guest is just one way to show your appreciation.

Anyone in a serious relationship (where you know the significant other)
There’s an old saying, “no bling, no bring,” meaning, if you aren’t married you don’t get to bring your partner to a wedding. That’s a pretty narrow-minded view in today’s culture, where couples might choose not to tie the knot or are waiting longer to get married. Anyone in a serious relationship should be able to bring their partner to the wedding.

A VIP guest who might not know anyone
Going back to etiquette, it’s just good manners to allow someone to bring a guest if they won’t know anyone else at the wedding. Again, wedding etiquette is about making guests feel comfortable and nothing is more uncomfortable than going to a party alone!

Don’t Need A Plus-One

Single guests who will know other people at the wedding
If a single guest has friends also attending they don’t need a plus-one to the wedding. However, be sure to seat them with people they’ll know.

Coworkers
If you’re inviting multiple coworkers to the wedding they can sit together. However, if you’re only inviting one coworker and they won’t know anyone else there they should receive a plus-one.

Someone casually dating someone new
This is a tricky one. We all like to show off our new boos to our friends. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean they should get the invite to your wedding. If you haven’t met the new partner and the guest knows other people at the wedding they don’t need a plus-one. But, depending on your friendship it’s a nice gesture to include them. If space opens up consider adding on the new partner in the “B round” of invitations.

Plus-One Etiquette Tips

The wedding invitation
Clearly address the wedding invitation to the attendees. If you know the name of your guests’ plus-one include them on the invitation, if you don’t you can add “and guest” so they know they can bring a companion.

Be prepared for people to ask
It’s inevitable that some of your guests will reach out to you and ask if they can have a plus-one. Try telling anyone who asks that your wedding venue is at capacity right now but if space opens up you’ll let them know.

Skip the singles table
Don’t single out the singles by grouping them all together at one table. These guests will enjoy their time much more if they are sitting with couples that they know!

A List and B List
Create an A and B guest list. These “B list invites” come in handy when RSVPs start to trickle in. If you receive enough regrets you might have room to be more generous with your plus-ones.

Remember all your guests are doing for you
From booking accommodations, traveling, going to bridal showcases, organizing the bridal shower, attending bachelor and bachelorette parties, and purchasing a wedding gift, your guests do a lot for you! Plus-ones are a great way of saying thank you to everyone who helped make your day so special.